This article originally appeared on Stickyminds.com.

It’s easy to be frustrated by lack of executive management support for QA. Often it’s difficult to get the backing we need to really operate effectively. But somewhere beyond cynicism lies a world of possibilities, and exploring them can help you articulate your needs. What would you ask for if you could?

I read, hear, and agree that executive management support for QA is absolutely necessary-and difficult, if not impossible, to get. This seems to be a mystery many of us deal with not just once, but over and over. Can you imagine anything different happening?

Excuses, Excuses!
If you’re like me, you’re very good at making up stories about why your executives don’t support QA:

• They’re expected to care about quality, so they set up a QA group and think they’ve taken care of it.
• They think that by chartering a QA group, they’ve done their part.
• They’re just going through the motions on quality.
• They care about quality, but they care more about schedule and cost.
• They’re just too busy to support QA.
• They DON’T really care about quality but they have to pretend they do.
• They are so far removed from the real work, they don’t even know what goes on at the worker level.
• They just don’t get it!

In the end, they are ignorant at best and dishonest at worst.

I’ve found my own stories don’t make me feel any better. Often I fall into raw cynicism and outright blame. But how much exploring have I done beyond the stories and cynicism? What is it I really want from those executives at the nosebleed level of the company?

"Backing."

Okay. So I want backing? But what is backing? The dictionary says that backing means "aid or support of any kind." But what kind do I want? The dictionary also says that backing means "that which forms the back of or is placed at or attached to the back of anything to support, strengthen or protect it." That sounds good. But what is the "anything" in my (your) case?

What, Specifically, Do I Want?

Perhaps if I could articulate more specifically what I mean when I ask for backing, I’d increase my chances of getting the kind I want. Do I want the executive to establish a quality policy, reward certain behaviors, give us more time or resources, participate in quality decisions, etc.? Any one of these things could constitute backing, yet each requires very different actions and support.

And by the way, who is backing whom? Why would an executive want to back QA? Or for that matter, why would an executive want to back me and my ideas about QA? And am I willing to back this executive’s definition of and need for quality?

Imagine

If you’re willing, conduct the following mental experiment privately, just for yourself. (If you find you can’t even imagine this experiment at all, this may provide you with some new insights, as well.)

Imagine you could meet with the executive of your choice. Who would you choose?

Now imagine that you have just been given an hour of this executive’s precious time to talk about whatever you choose. Envision what you would do with this time. Let yourself pursue what you’ve always dreamed of asking, hearing, learning, and telling this executive. Seriously explore what you would do.

Would you ask the executive how she/he defines quality?

• Does this executive think that your product currently meets this definition?
• Would you seek to understand what is really important to him/her?
• Can you imagine discussing together how quality relates to what’s important to this executive?
• Would you offer to do anything to address what’s important to this executive? What might you offer?

Now really think about this one…

• What, specifically, would you ask this executive to do to support quality?
• What, specifically, would you ask him/her to do for you or your group or your project?
• Would you ask for an ongoing conversation with this executive about quality?

Giving Voice to Your Imaginings

Now that you’ve privately experimented, can you imagine using the results of this experiment publicly with your group or key team members? Maybe it would be interesting to see how others would play out that imagined conversation. You may even find yourself having that conversation with your executive.

I wonder what we can learn from our experiments? If you’re willing, please share your imaginings in the article discussion on the AYE Conference WIKI. If this seems too risky, silly, or a waste of time to you, then it probably is. But you might learn that others have the same wild and crazy imaginings that you have. Maybe some have even played out their imaginings and will share what worked and didn’t work.

I look forward to reading your ideas. Maybe backing each other here on the AYE website and at the AYE Conference will help us get and give more solid executive backing.

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I first experienced a family reconstruction in the 1989 Congruent Leadership Change Workshop. I was stunned by its power. It was as if a special key had been oh-so-gently inserted into this man’s lock box of memories. On that day, I never imagined that one day I would be guiding a reconstruction. Or that — as a guide — I would still be stunned by its power.

How I came to guide a reconstruction

I’ve been studying Virginia Satir’s work for over ten years now. I experienced a family reconstruction for the first time in the 1989 Congruent Leadership Change Workshop with Dani Weinberg, Jerry Weinberg and Jean McLendon. I was stunned by the power of the reconstruction. It was as if a special key had been oh-so-gently inserted into this man’s lock box of memories. His family’s past came to life, in all its wonder, pain and happiness. Then, if possible, even more gently, Jean McLendon guided this man to a fuller appreciation of his grandparents, parents, siblings and finally himself. On that day, I never imagined I would ever be guiding a reconstruction one day.

I’m not a therapist. I work in the information technology services (re: computers) industry. It is an industry where "hardware" refers to that plastic case with electronic circuits inside that is sitting on your desk called a PC. And where "software" refers to the invisible code inside that electronic equipment that makes it tick. Yet, every day, I experienced that "hardware" is really the shell each of us puts on to protect ourselves in that work-a-day world. And software are those mushy, baffling, energizing, depressing, etc. feelings covered up and protected by our "hardware." This kind of hardware and software interests me much more.

So, I have tiptoed out with some Satir tools into that information technology services world. I’ve used Temperature Readings as the format for regular staff meetings. Wayne Strider and I introduced the Change Model to McDonnell Douglas at a time when downsizing and reorganizing were relatively new management strategies. I’ve worked with individuals to identify a family rule that might be affecting how they worked with others. I’ve helped professionals untangle some puzzling communication using the Ingredients of an Interaction. I now know that all of this was useful and preparing me.

Then, the day came, unannounced. People come to our Strider & Cline annual Leaders’ Forums looking for ways to experience and practice using Satir techniques. It was during our 1999 Leaders’ Forum in Mt. Crested Butte — a special place in the history of Virginia’s work — that the opportunity presented itself and I offered to guide a reconstruction. The Star’s focus was not her family of origin but her consulting company. In addition to the Star, two other company members were present. They had recently joined her company and didn’t know much about the history of relationships in this company. All three were excited about what they might learn from reconstructing their company.

How I felt guiding a reconstruction

Two seconds after I offered to guide the reconstruction for them, I heard this little voice inside me saying, "Who do you think you are? What makes you think you could guide a reconstruction? You’re not a therapist! What if your lack of skill harms these people?" All good questions. Yet, there was a second little voice saying "You can do this. And you don’t have to do it alone. So, what kind of support do you want to do it?" This second voice (my Barbra Streisand part, I think) won out. I asked Wayne Strider, my partner, if he would support me. He said yes and we talked about how to guide the reconstruction together. I also sat down privately with the Star to see how she was feeling about doing the reconstruction. We talked about the kind of support she would like for herself during the reconstruction. The time seemed right for me to step out confidently and humbly.

The reconstruction was a work of art as I find all family stories to be. Virginia’s tool served us well with some support from our self-esteem tool kit. The Star described and sculpted the founding of the company with Leaders’ Forum participants in the roles of her two original partners. She sculpted a vignette of these three original founders’ struggling with their dream and searching for a workable direction. The pain of one of the original founders leaving the company was palpable. The Star at one point during the reconstruction physically felt ties binding her to several people in the company, which no longer fit for her. The tugs and pulls came from her close personal friendships with these two people while at the same time their business connections were diminishing. Asking her how she would like to relate to these two people in the present, she very clearly changed her position with them to a more comfortable one, maintaining the personal friendships while lessening the business connections.

Then one of the two new members was born into the company and things changed even more dramatically for the Star. As the second new member was born into this company, the three of them discovered how past relationships with each other might be affecting their company. The two newest members had worked together in another company before joining this one. The company founder, the Star, found herself the outsider. This power of sculpting their current connections with each other was very powerful for them. They realized their connections were not what they wanted them to be and talked about what they might do to change them. And they shared with each other some of their hopes for their future together. This is how they describe their experiences in the reconstruction and what’s happened for them since then:

The Star says "My vision for my company has always included bringing together the unique individuals with whom I’ve had great working relationships into situations where they work with each other, melding that incredible diversity and talent. The reconstruction took me from a place where I was feeling bad about what was happening as I made these connections to a place where I reflected on what I learned as I brought people together and what made sense for the future. The reconstruction helped me see how my relationships needed to change in order to preserve friendships while growing a business.

After Leaders’ Forum, I was able to go back and have the (sometimes tough) conversations that enabled me to connect differently for a better result. It helped me to ask more easily for what I needed from others. The techniques also highlighted the fact that I could think through and sculpt the future connections in my head before enacting them for real!"

One of the Company Members recalls "It has been 8 months since our company reconstruction, and I still get a very special feeling when I think back to that morning. Something happened that could not have been possible through conversation or action in a very compressed period of time. It was powerful and positive in helping us start to grow toward a different level in our working relationship."

And I learned first hand that "guiding" isn’t about leading; it’s about following. It’s about following the Star. I experienced being fully present with the Star and recognizing a meaningful path to follow. Yes, I had a few moments where the path to follow was not clear to me. Inside I could feel myself getting a little anxious. Then, I reminded myself that this was a gift for the Star and not about my own performance. I gave myself permission to be patient and her path became clear to both of us. Knowing Wayne was there and supporting us all gave me great comfort.

What I would like to have happen now

I look back now to my first experience of a reconstruction and recognize that the seed was planted then. I’ve been watering and feeding that seed for over ten years. I’ve continued my studies with Jean, Jerry, Dani and others. Wayne and I have developed Leaders’ Forum into a gentle, safe, supportive place for others and us to practice and learn. I’ve discovered I much prefer to work with the support of one or more partners in this kind of work. And I’ve found many great partners including Pat Snipp and Wayne.

And what of Stars? I used to think we referred to the person whose family was reconstructed as a Star because that person was the focal point. But during the guiding of this Star’s reconstruction, I realized there is another reason we call them Stars. They are my guides. I now realize the importance of following the Stars that appear in my life. They appear when I’m ready and have the courage to follow them. The Stars are my teachers. I trust they will continue to appear and guide me down the path that bears my name. And especially, I thank this Star for her gracious guidance.

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